Welcome to My Blog

     

For me, and many other creative creatures on this planet, there is a constant longing for sharing my truth. It’s a feeling filled with both narcissism and generosity, the kind that chips away pieces of my soul if I don’t consistently share my creativity with the world. It’s inspiring, frightening and highly inconvenient. Because of this feeling, I always thought I’d do something great with my life. Something important that truly mattered, but the older I get the more unsure I become. Maybe being alive in itself is as big, creative and important as it possibly gets? Maybe this is it? Though, somewhere deep in my gut, a voice is screaming that there is more to life than this. Maybe today, tomorrow, or at least soon, life is really supposed to begin. In my constant search for meaning between and during my creative endeavors, I've filled dozens of journals with thoughts, questions, hopes, dreams and countless drafts of ideas that will never reach completion.    

                                     

    

There is something rewarding about writing every day for nobody but myself. Of carrying boxes full of journals from apartment to apartment as I move through life and using them as a reference for screenplays, character research or more often than not, just to reminisce. On the other hand, it’s also almost stingy to write without letting others read. The idea of sharing some sort of public journal has been buzzing around in my head for years, but I don’t think I have had the ovaries to it until now. As the hopeless perfectionist that I am, I haven’t been comfortable with sharing anything that isn’t “finished” before. Writing has also never been my “main” thing or something I’ve claimed to be great at. It’s just something I do. I do it almost more out of necessity than anything else, it simply helps me make sense of my thoughts and prevents me from forgetting stories that pop up in my head. I do write screenplays as well, and there's nothing I want more than to turn them into movies...but let's be real, movies are expensive and complicated to make and most scripts I write will probably remain just scripts. Regardless of if they become finished films or not, I've often been a co-writer when I've written them, and if not I have with the help of other editors gone through numerous drafts. Nothing wrong with that, each draft usually helps the project progress, but there is a lack of immediacy when you only work on long term projects. An important part of creative work is that it is a type of communication between the creatives and the audience, and if there is no audience - there is no communication.

           

These days I’m starting to realize that I need that immediacy in order to move forward. Sharing your creativity doesn’t have to be reserved for those who “have made it” or gotten “permission” by someone else.  Furthermore, I’m starting to think that without sharing my imperfection, I can’t really share my truth. It’s with excitement and great fear that I start this project: my public creative writing journal where I will post essays, drafts, poems, and random thoughts - in no particular order. Welcome to The Unconventional Journals of a Not So Successful Artist. Welcome to my blog.